Length of session


  • Identify situations that demonstrate respect.
  • Identify ways to show respect for self and others.
  • Discuss what respect is and is not.
  • Identify expressing appreciation as one way to demonstrate respect.
  • Identify the steps for expressing appreciation.
  • Develop assertive statements of appreciation.
  • Understand how respecting one another and expressing appreciation to others contributes to positive relationships.

Materials Needed

Visual means for recording ideas

(paper, chart paper, or white/chalk board and markers/chalk)

Tasks to complete before the workshop :

Create two signs and post them on opposite sides of the room.





Large and Small Group Activity

duration of activity

Ask participants

how they would define “Respect.” Accept three or four ideas and record them on chart paper or the white/chalk board.

Post the two signs, Agree and Disagree, on opposite sides of the room.

Tell participants that you will be describing some situations to them that involve a person or group of people acting in a way that may or may not show respect.

They are to decide if they agree or disagree that the situation demonstrates respect. Then, move to the side of the room with the sign that represents their choice.

Describe the first situation. Give participants a moment to think about their response; and then, ask them to move.

Agree/Disagree Situation #1

Your neighbor wants you to get a phone card from the shop. You are already late for your next appointment and you tell him or her you can’t.

When participants have found their places, call on volunteers to explain their reasons for agreeing or disagreeing. Have participants move to the side of the room with the sign that represents their choice, agree or disagree, regarding the next situation. When they have moved, call on volunteers to share their reasoning.

Agree/Disagree Situation #2

An elderly woman who is walking home from the market is struggling with three large bags of groceries. This same woman has been critical to neighbors about your family. You do not offer to help the woman.

Agree/Disagree Situation #3

Your parents tell you to watch your younger sister while they go out for groceries. You had planned to visit a friend. You decide to take your sister along even though she doesn’t want to be there and is bored.

Thank participants for sharing their opinions on the issue of respect and indicate that you want to continue exploring this critical topic by thinking about ways to show respect for self and respect for others. Provide definitions of “respect for others” and “self-respect” that are similar to the following:

Respect for others is to feel or show honor or regard for the worth of someone.

Self-respect is when a person believes in his or her personal worth and is willing to stand up for himself or herself.

Facilitator’s Input

duration of activity

Refer to the definitions of respect that they suggested at the beginning of the session. Invite participants to clarify their ideas by listing what respect “is” and “is not.”

Create a split-sheet chart on chart paper or the white/chalk board. It should resemble the chart below:

Using statements such as :
  • automatically given in some situations and needs to be earned in others
  • blind obedience
  • valuing oneself and others
  • tied to whether or not you like someone
  • showing honor for the worth of others
  • being selfish
  • believing in one’s personal worth
  • mistreating others
  • standing up for one’s self
  • automatically earned with age or authority

Participants should understand that obedience is different from respect and blind obedience may negatively impact respect for self.

Obedience is when someone chooses to follow instructions or behave in accordance with a law, rule, or order. “Blind obedience” is when someone obeys a higher order without thinking and making a clear choice.

Facilitator’s Input and Discussion

duration of activity


Tell participants

there are many ways to show respect to self and others.

State that one of the ways is to use statements of appreciation with others and with self.

Share a simple formula for including the two parts: When you (describe what the person did), I appreciated it because (tell why) .



making a statement of appreciation as a way to show respect for others.

Point out the two parts of the statement of appreciation. Demonstrate making a statement of appreciation to yourself as a way to show self-respect.

Note that this type of self-appreciation is made privately in your mind or in a personal journal.

Small Group Work

duration of activity

Divide the large group into small groups with three or four participants in each group by asking them to find two or three participants they have not worked with or spoken with recently.

Encourage them to find participants who are not sitting on either side of them and make statements of appreciation to each other.

Provide feedback and guidance if the small groups need help including both parts of the appreciation statement.


Facilitator’s Note

Directly expressing words of appreciation may be uncomfortable for the participants. If so, discuss with them the advantages of such expression. Include in the discussion any cultural norms that apply. The following question and possible responses may help to guide the discussion:What might be the advantages of expressing appreciation even if it seems uncomfortable?  A person acknowledges a strength, talent, or something admired about another person.  It can enhance or improve the relationship. It lets others know what they have done or said is valued. Ask participants: What makes it easy or difficult to express appreciation to others?

When people express appreciation to others, how are their relationships affected?

What makes it easy or difficult to express appreciation to yourself?

When people express appreciation to themselves, how are they affected?


duration of activity


Ask participants

Do you think it is easier to express appreciation to someone else or to yourself?

Explain your reasons.

How does having self-respect benefit a person?

Encourage participants to show respect for themselves or for others during the next few days.